Blog for Tuesday 30th December 2025

I sort of flipped myself out of bed this morning at twenty past four and into the second to last day of 2025!

Incredible! I have no idea where this year went – it simply has whizzed by at the speed of light for me, and that is for sure! I am not sad that it is almost over though as it has been a year full of incredible highs, and very low lows. I pray that 2026 will be the best year yet!

It was almost half past four by the time I tiptoed up the stairs to my studio to have my Quiet Time, but it was still pitch-black outside, although Cock-a-Doodle-Do, our rooster, was already crowing loudly, fit to lose his head I may add!

I heard Paddy up and making coffees for himself and Tamryn at about a quarter to six, as he would take her across the river to see her off. But instead, Tamryn took the ute, crossed the river herself and left the ute' on the other side of the river to be collected by someone later., so that Paddy could begin to work on this side.

Tamryn left the farm to travel up to Yamba (which is just north of Coffs Harbour) where she is meeting up with her best friend to celebrate and see the New Year in. That should be fun.

I am pleased that Ken and I will just have a quiet New Year’s Eve here on our own. It has never been a happy time for Ken and so I watch some TV and if I feel like it, I will watch how people all over the world are celebrating the arrival of their New Year.

Tamryn left the farm at a quarter past six, hoping not to be caught up in too heavy traffic on her way up to Yamba.

I had to go through several hundred files to find the ones I needed to send to South Africa, and I came across this article on tasers again. Oh, I love it as it makes me laugh every time I read it. I hope it brings a smile to your face too.

Today (Tuesday 30^th December 2025 and also on Tuesday 30^th March 2021 as I was going through all the files, papers, documents and hoo-hah in our filing cupboards I came across this article that left me laughing as hard as when I first read it on 3^rd September 2009 … I hope it brings a smile to your face too!

ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS…

Just try reading this without laughing until you cry!

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this …

Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest.

The occasion was our 15^th anniversary, and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000volt pocket/purse sized Taser.

The effects of the Taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety …??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my armchair, my cat Grace looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to wife this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Taser in another.

The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flail on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I am looking at this little device measuring about 5” long and less than ¾ inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy bitsy AAA batteries), pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best …

I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, ‘Don’t do it stupid.’ Reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad, I decided to give myself a one second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button and …

OH MOTHER McCREE … WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION …

I’m pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, and then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the foetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs!

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a Taser, one note of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point,) I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel above the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently, I had messed in my pants, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I’m still looking for my testicles and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P.S. My wife can’t stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!!

---oOo---

Oh, I do hope that made you smile!

Today I have hardly seen Paddy or Matt’ as they have been busy-busy-busy out on the farm – trying to get the water pump to be more powerful to get the water pumping through the irrigation pods, but … Matt’ was saying they may have to get more parts or simply get a new pump. Shame, after all that hard work too!

 In the late afternoon Paddy was on the roof of the large top shed to clear out the gutters and as he walked across the roof, I could follow his footsteps above me as the roof bulged inwards just above my heard in my studio!

Paddy also had some serious exercise just before they left the farm to return home, chasing a reluctant bull back into the bull's camp! The wretched creature ran around and around the dam which is so frustrating when you are the one chasing it!

After a quick shower and packing their things Paddy and Matt‘ left the farm at a quarter to five this evening to fight their way through (I assume possibly) heavy traffic to get back home on the Central Coast.

I brought in the washing which was nicely dried, and I then sat outside watching Paddy and Matt’ leave the farm and bounce and bang across the river, with the guinea fowl gathered around me demanding some seed with their loud monotonous and raucous cries.

Slowly the day was leaked away, and I was tired and looking forward to an early night.

I was pleased as I had managed to do the embroidery on the one sleeve and begun the other one too, with bullion roses on the little smocked dress for Zara, our first little great-granddaughter. Once I have finished the embroidery, I will finish the little dress using my sewing machine.

At just after seven o’clock Ken fed the dogs, I made him his supper of leftover butter chicken on toast, then I headed for bed.

What lesson did I learn today? Once again … patience! Embroidering bullion roses on smocked fabric is not the easiest or quickest thing to do!

What am I grateful for today? Paddy has had lawyers draw up legal documents allowing us to leave the farm and for all matters relating to the farm to be dealt with fairly between us all. Well done, Paddy!

My saying for today is …